the one about my stupid old microwave

My microwave is the BIGGEST piece of crap! It has been since I bought it. The light never worked, and almost instantly it stopped rotating. I tried to fix it a million times but it kept breaking. Since it wouldn't rotate, it burned EVERYTHING! I haven't been able to pop popcorn forever! And it is my favorite treat in the world. Especially the Jolly Time Kettle Mania. YUMMY!!! One morning, Quayd wanted me to cook him some sausage. I buy these pre-cooked sausage patties in the freezer section and he totally loves them. I cooked them for the normal time, and not even halfway through, we could smell the most horrible smell EVER! I stopped the microwave and we had a small fire going on! This is what my stupid microwave did to the sausage!!!!

So this is what I did to the microwave!
And then I went to Wal-Mart and bought this!