Friday, November 2, 2007

the one about my father-in-law

I totally forgot to post this picture yesterday. It is Talia. Is she hot or what?
She was having a crappy day yesterday and I was super worried about her. Then I got sidetracked and forgot to put her hot picture on my blog! She was having a bad "Dad" day, as we call it around here. That brings me to todays blog topic...

My Amazing Father in Law, who I miss so much. He was a great man, and I love him so much. The things I will talk about, are my experiences and opinions. This is MY relationship with Mike.

He was born 2/28/1956 and passed away recently, August 29, 2007. He endured many health trials in his 51 years. Much more than any person should ever have to deal with. I met him probably about 11 years ago, and he filled a huge void in my life. We had a very untypical father-in-law/ daughter-in-law relationship. Possibly on the verge of inappropriate! Besides my husband and maybe my mom about 29 years ago, no one person has ever grabbed my butt so much in my life. And vice versa! Or called me out of the blue to ask, in a sultry voice, "What are you wearing?" We talked about everything! He knew more about me than almost anyone. He also knew a different side of me. A side that nobody knows or understands. After I had my baby, I had a pretty tough time. It is a long story and I have to be in just the right mood to talk about it. Someday I will share all of the details on my blog, but not today. Anyway, when things all started going down that day (September 4th 2002) Mike was the one who was there for me. Not because nobody else wanted to be there, but because HE knew what was going on. He stood up for me and made sure I was getting the proper health care. He took care of my baby while I was being poked, prodded and tested to hell and back. He drove my husband and son to SLC while I was being lifeflighted. He got them there safely, comforted my husband, and knew just what to do and say once they arrived. His was the first voice I heard when I was in the ER at the U of U. The most wonderful, warm, beautiful, comforting sound I could have heard! I was in a drug induced coma and the doctors told Brett that I wouldn't be able to hear him, but that they could take a few moments to see me. Well I heard them! I heard the doctors say those words and I will never forget it. (I get a little teary-eyed talking about it.) I was on a ventilator and I couldn't move. I couldn't even open my eyes. But Brett and Mike walked in and Mike said to Brett, "She can probably hear you. The doctors don't think so, but she probably can. Tell her the things you think she wants to hear." And he told me exactly what I needed to hear. That they were there with me, that my baby was there and that I was going to be ok. That was all I needed to know. I was super frustrated that I couldn't give them a sign to tell them that I could hear. And then a tear trickled down my face, and Brett said, "Look, I think she can hear me." Mike told him that I must have been trying to give them a sign and that must have been it. I know that sounds like nothing, but to me, it was huge. It was one of those "life" moments that I will NEVER forget! Mike was so in tune with me and my spirit at that time that he was able to communicate to me the things I needed to know. I am forever grateful for that. Brett was one of the speakers at the funeral and he made the comment that because of his dad, he has a wife today. It is so true. I know that Mike saved me. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for him. I hate saying this because I hate to freak anybody out, but Mike and I both had near-death experiences. It is a very private thing to me and nobody really gets it. But Mike did. We had that in common and we could talk about it for HOURS! I know that Mike was not afraid of death. I know that he had a choice to make and he finally made the choice to rest. I find a lot of peace in knowing that he is finally out of pain and that he is perfect. I don't feel like he is all that far away from us. Quayd told my mom that he still talks to Papa. I love that. I love knowing that my son feels like he has somebody he can talk to anytime. Quayd and Mike were super close, and I know that Papa is watching out for him.


A couple of years ago at Lagoon, Mike and I decided to go on this ride, and we HATED it! Well, I hated it and Mike did too, but he enjoyed hearing me scream like a little baby.
Oh, we had so much fun. He was a total nut! And he somehow made everyone feel like they were special. I could tell him a story and he made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. But he did that for everybody! We all felt special around Mike. And we felt like he was special too. I try to be strong for Brett but sometimes it really hits me. I metioned how Talia had a bad "Dad" day yesterday. Quayd did too. When I picked him up from school, he was crying a little. I asked him what was wrong and he told me some story about how he had lost some game at school or something. Then he said, "and I am just really sad that Papa died." Sad. Brett has a bad "Dad" day occasionally and I am kind of having one today. It's weird. I miss him like crazy.

7 comments:

Kandice said...

mandy, that was so sweet. I will never forget the morning you called to say mike had passed away. My heart was crushed for you, because I knew that he filled a father like void in your life. I am not an emotional girl, but I got a few tears out with your story. I've said it once and I will say it again, you are a very talented writer and put your thoughts into words so well. luv ya!

Janice {Run Far} said...

I love you Mandy. I am sorry you have had to go through some of the things you have gone through. It warms my heart to hear you have someone who understands what you went through. I hope your day gets better. You are the best friend any one could ask for and I am greatful to Mike for making sure you got the attention you needed when you needed it, other wise I never would have met you, and had you in my life.

Janice {Run Far} said...

P.S. Talia does look Hot!!!!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Mandy - I snuck unto your blog through the links on Janice's page. I got reading your entries, and started bawling. You have such a beautiful way of putting your thought onto paper. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I don't even know you, but I can tell that you are a strong, loving person with a lot to offer. I hope you don't mind that I snooped. ;)

Hope said...

Mandy,

I am so honored to still be friends with you! I love that I can see you after maybe months or years of "not" and still feel like we consider each other good friends. I'm proud of the woman you are and the priorities you hold closest to your heart. I'm happy you and Mike had that kind of relationship--those type don't come around very often. You were lucky to have each other. He'll be so happy to see you again someday!

Miss you and Love ya!
Hope

Kelli said...

He does sound like a wonderful man. And my husband is only a few months older than he would be, weird. Thanks again for sharing. Take care.